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Nisan
New Member
USA
82 Posts |
 Posted - November 02 2006 : 1:03:20 PM
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Lot's of reading here and some very well thought out and excellent posts.
I've decided to just give a perspective as a 43 y/o woman who was once a 13 y/o even though I've never had children of my own.
I can't speak for all families but I certainly wasn't the model child and I know my parents weren't the model parents. I gave much resistance regarding many things.
I remember that when I was sixteen - I had to get parental permission just to have my ears pierced. While I may have griped when my parents didn't want me to do something I did have a fair amount of respect for them.
To look back at how I felt and believed at that time is far different than I do now. I would have been very afraid to go to my parents if I had gotten pregnant, but I would have been a fool to not have. I knew a couple of women(girls) who I went to school with who did get pregnant at 13 and both had their children.
If I had a child I would hope that I had raised that child to feel comfortable enough to talk with me about anything without feeling judged.
Bottom line in this is anyone can create children but not all should care for them. There are unfortunately many parents whom are not good parents and never wanted children to begin with. Yet, a teenager not of legal age and should not be allowed to obtain an abortion without parental consent.
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DeathDealerCros
Politics & Current Events Moderator
USA
38 Posts |
Posted - November 02 2006 : 2:49:08 PM
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On my way to school so not much time, please forgive my brevity and any spelling errors. lol
Originally posted by JADE
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I hope you get better soon. LOL j/k I was in pre-law back in 71 but the college life got me off track. Still not sure though if I regret not becoming a lawyer. I know there are good ones, but there are many bad ones too. So be good. 
lol I will do my best.
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Sadly, these things do happen, but when you look at the population of the World they are almost insignificant. Old people and parents are also abused by their children, maybe at about the same rate. Sadly, thats part of our World and it may get better or worst, but never go away. Humans are animals ya know.
Beating is always wrong, kicking them out of the house has sometimes saved a wayword child. But that child needs to be old enough and helped to find someplace else to live when an impasse has been reached. I have a friend that her kids got into Meth. She tried everything she could to save them, but the Meth had too good a hold on them. They were actually a danger to themselves and to her. She actually didn't have to kick them out, they ran away because she wouldn't support their habits. But I'm sure they told everyone they were kicked out(it sounds much better). So yes it does happen, but for each situation, there is a much more complex story to go with it.
In these two situations I would agree with them being taken out of the house for the safety of the parents and others who live with them. However, just throwing a pregnant, drug-addicted or physically abusive teenager out with no where to go is not a good way to solve the problem.
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you really think that 13 year old will be able to keep this from her folks? Eventually she will blurt it out or something and that will only make an already abusive parent(if that is the worry) to get even more abusive.
But I'm sure you would agree you would rather hear it from your daughter than from the doctor.
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You're right, but adding more pressure and responsibility to a 13 year old scared girl is not going to solve anything. If you keep up with the stories about CPS(child protective services) you'll find that most kids are still better off with a poor parent(not a monster but no angel) than they are under Govt. control. And thats what they are going to get.
I agree. My mother is a social worker.
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JADE
Junior Member
USA
184 Posts |
Posted - November 02 2006 : 4:57:12 PM
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In these two situations I would agree with them being taken out of the house for the safety of the parents and others who live with them. However, just throwing a pregnant, drug-addicted or physically abusive teenager out with no where to go is not a good way to solve the problem.
Correct, but do you think that in that abusive home that it makes any difference. She may be getting kicked out the day she comes home from the abortion even though the parents know nothing about it. There are so many other options than to add to an already bad situation. She needs intervention, not a secret abortion. After the abortion, do they take her to that abusive home and try to intervene. No, they give her some painkiller and send her on her way back to the same old crap. If she got impregnated by her father or parent, I'll bet she's back in a few months for another abortion anyway. Fact is, she can find much more help as an abuse pregnant girl than just an abused girl.
I hope you are keeping up on all the other true stories of where boyfriends and their mothers or coaches etc. are taking these girls they got pregnant down for the abortion to avoid going to jail. It is very common now for any 18+ boy to take their underage girlfriend down for an abortion to avoid getting in trouble(sometime even threatening the girl). This is a time she really needs her parents. I will venture to say more abortions are done due to imbarrassment or fear of the childs father, not fear of parents. So, I guess I can understand why 18+ boys are voting Yes for abortions and No for parental notification. But that has nothing to do with abusive parents. Parents need to be involved. Of course if the parent is the one that got her pregnant(which is an extreme rarity) even Prop. 85 allows for the girl to get a waiver. But then it will be looked at seriously and if there is a case of rape or incest then action will be taken and she will be removed from that situation, not sent back to it.
Did you know that not only is her abortion kept secret, they don't even investigate whether or not she was raped or not. Which just allows the rapist, boyfriend, or even father to get away with his crime. Which then makes it worth doing over again since they found the easy out. Abortion just perpetuates more bad actions than just getting pregnant due to its easy availability.
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But I'm sure you would agree you would rather hear it from your daughter than from the doctor.
If they knew that only their parent could authorize the abortion or at least had to be notified, they would tell us anyway. But since they know they don't have to, they avoid the embarrassment and for the most part, are unaware of the many complications that arrise from abortions.
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I agree. My mother is a social worker.
She has a tough job and one I don't envy. I can also see why you are hearing so much of the bad side of parenting. Sadly that will bias or taint your view of the majority of good decent parents that are losing their rights and control to raise good children. The bad parents will more than likely never change. The good parents will eventually get overwhelmed and disallusioned with others telling them not only what they can do, but how. Parenting is very tough, but it is getting near impossible when we not only have openly coersive forces working against us, but also secret forces undermining our difficult job of raising good children.
My kids are now teenagers. We did pretty much everything right.(I can prove it, I just got done archiving 16 years of Hi8 family videos onto DVDs) But when they reached about 13, there was a sudden change that got my wife and I to wonder sometimes who the heck those kids were in the other room. From my discussions with other parents on other forum, I am not alone either. Its like a light switch went off and they become something other than the sweet little kids we were so proud of.
I won't go into all the specifics, but these years are very difficult for both the kids and the parents. They don't need any outside forces getting in the middle of it. Its hard enought trying to teach your young son how to like and respect folks of another color when he gets jumped by a gang of blacks, sees how predjudice and racists they are towards him and other non-blacks, etc. I worked hard for 16 years to bring up a non-racist kid, then the very folks he was suppose to treat equal treated him like crap and threatened him. He now has very little respect for blacks and there is nothing I can do at this time to break that. Society and outside forces overruled my years of lessons.
Now add that with the constant teachings of evolution from ape to man and saying that the Bible is crap, creation is a lie, they can't teach or help inforce the 10 commandments or any of the good teachings of Jesus, etc. Now if they don't like what their parents tell them, they can divorce them, or even sue them. They can strike their parent and then if the parent grabs them or something they call the cops.
I am not talking about true abusive parents or kids. I am talking about what goes on in most any normal family setting. The parent is becoming innept. Everyone thinks they know better when they get one side of a 5 minute story by some child or bystander. To heck with the 13+ years they have never seen. To heck listening to the parents 5 minute explanation. Just take away all parental control piece by piece and eventually you will have chaos. (and not the kind that even Vain would like to see)
So, again, think real hard about giving away your rights and liberties so easily. Especially when you are giving it to some stranger that you have no control over. Do you want that coach, teacher, nurse, etc. to have more control over your child than you do.
Look up the name, Ivan Nahimas and read how he was an abortion doctor that was accused by over 200 victims of sexual abuse. Also, Abortionist Lawrence Reich that continued practicing in LA after being convicted of sexually abusing a patient. When a parent is involved, even during an abortion, they will be present and ensuring that their daughter is getting the best and safest care. If the coach or boyfriend takes her, they'll more than likely be dropped off and picked up later. Now that is abuse.
God bless,
JADE
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I question...Therefore I think...I think...Therefore I am...I think? |
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BlueRose
New Member
61 Posts |
Posted - November 14 2006 : 01:39:10 AM
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This is always going to be a very thick topic. Abortion itself has made many peoples lives a living hell. There will be some that say they have done it and can't regret it. Then there are some that will say it was the biggest mistake of their lives. Now as for the notification process, I agree. Any child under the age of 18( I say this because that is the legal adult age) should have their perents notified. I only wish it could be sooner than the 48 hours. If a girl gets pregnant,she shouldn't be afraid to tell a perent and a perent should taked responsibility to listen without passing judgement. This is your child after all and it takes alot to tell a perent what they did wrong. Sex education should be the first answer a long time before they reach 'that age'. If a child knows the consequences of the actions it could help them make better decisions later, like waiting. But sometimes they don't have that choice. Some perent say they'll have 'the talk' later when the child is alittle older or when the child starts asking questions. By that time, it may be too late. My sister is only 8 years old and knows all the fundamentals of sex and not from my perents but from classmates and other children. They may know everything but the important thing before you talk to them. Now I'm not going to say I waited but at least I took the precautions. There are also some women and girls that don't get that option. Those that are raped do have the option of the day after pill yes, but how many actually come forward to do so as the hospital notifys perents. There are children out there being used by someone they know for sex and then threatend that if they tell someone something worse may happen. Some of these cases lead to prenancy and the person may not even know it untill its too late. The simple solution should be to talk to your kids and to listen to them frequently. If all you do is berate and lecture then they won't tell you anything.
A rose has it's beauty, but it also has it's thorns. |
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Abortion & Parent Notification
